Family/Friend Estrangement

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Few things are more painful or more complex than considering, or choosing, to distance yourself from a parent or family member. Whether that means going no contact, low contact, or simply setting new boundaries, most people don’t make that decision lightly.

If you’re in this position, it likely followed a long history of hurt, disappointment, and unmet needs. You probably gave that person many chances to change, to apologize, or to show up differently, but nothing improved. In fact, it may have gotten worse. 

Somewhere along the way, you may have started to believe you were the problem, when you weren’t.

For some, going no contact becomes necessary, especially after becoming a parent or realizing the emotional toll is too high. For others, staying in limited contact feels like the best fit, even when the relationship remains painful.

Low contact, limited engagement, and boundary setting can all be valid ways to protect your peace. These decisions are rarely impulsive and almost never about one incident. They are often about protecting yourself emotionally, physically, and psychologically, sometimes for the first time.

Setting boundaries isn’t about expecting other people to change. It’s about deciding what you’re willing to tolerate, how much access others have to your time and energy, and how you care for yourself in situations that may not improve.

Boundaries can sound like:

• “I won’t discuss that topic with them anymore.”
• “I need to limit how often we talk.”
• “If they say that again, I will end the conversation.”
• “I can go to the event, but I’ll leave after an hour.”

These aren't about controlling others. They’re about giving yourself a clearer framework so you can stay grounded and navigate difficult family dynamics without abandoning your own well being.

Family estrangement often comes with added layers: staying in touch with some relatives but not others, managing boundary violations, or dealing with people who pass along messages or take sides. 

These dynamics can feel isolating, especially when it seems like everyone else has a close, supportive family.

And then come the comments and unsolicited advice:

• “You only get one father.”
• “You’re going to regret this.”
• “Your mother had a hard life. Give her a break.”
• “They were just joking.”
• “You’re too sensitive.”

These messages can be deeply invalidating. They may cause you to question your strength, your memories, and your choices.

Estrangement and boundary setting aren’t limited to family. Many people face similar patterns in other long term relationships: with friends, mentors, bosses, or chosen family members. The grief and self doubt can feel just as real and just as heavy.

If you're managing the guilt, grief, anger, or confusion that often comes with cutting or limiting contact, or even just trying to survive another family event without spiraling, you’re not alone. Many people are quietly carrying the weight of these choices.

I’ve supported clients at every stage: from early contemplation to long term estrangement and everything in between. 

Whether you’re exploring your options, trying to hold a boundary, or working to find peace with what is, I’m here to support you with compassion, clarity, and zero judgment.