Family Estrangement

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There are few things more painful than having to cut off or go no contact with a parent or family member. For most people to get to that point, many excruciating things had to happen over a long period of time. Most people don't wake up one day and randomly decide to go no contact with a family member. You probably gave copious chances to that person to do the right thing, apologize, or change their behavior but things never improved. In fact, they may have worsened. Perhaps it wasn’t until you had children when you realized you needed to reevaluate your relationship with someone. These decisions are almost never impulsive and are almost never over just one incident.

There’s often the added challenge of trying to stay in touch with some family members and not others (often living under the same roof), or being in contact with folks not respecting your boundaries and who may be giving updates about you or your children to your estranged family member. You may feel alone and isolated in this and, yet, many are struggling with similar family dynamics - it just doesn't always feel that way. 

One of the most difficult parts of going no contact are the comments you hear from other people: "You only get one father!" "You're going to regret that one day." "Your mother had a traumatic childhood, that's why she's like that." “Oh, they didn’t mean it! They were joking!” It's unhelpful and makes an already painful situation worse. You may feel like you’re going crazy, being hostile, or doubting your decisions; talking with someone who gets it can help you find and stand in your resolve and power.

If you're trying to figure out how to deal with a toxic family member or parent, their enablers or naysayers, I’d love to support you. Maybe you’ve already gone no/low contact and you're managing the guilt, grief and anger, that inevitably ensues. Regardless, I'm here to help.