Family/Friend Estrangement

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Few things are more painful, or more complicated, than contemplating or deciding to go no contact with a parent or family member. Most people don’t just wake up one day and make that decision lightly. If you’ve found yourself in this position, chances are it followed a long history of hurt, disappointment, and unmet needs. You likely gave that person many chances to do the right thing, to apologize, or to change but nothing improved. In fact, it may have only gotten worse. And somewhere along the way, you may have started to believe you were the problem, when you weren’t.

For some, the decision to step away becomes clear after becoming a parent and realizing you need to protect your own children from the dynamics you endured. For others, it's a matter of emotional survival. Either way, these decisions are rarely impulsive, and almost never about just one incident.

Estrangement often comes with additional layers, like staying in touch with some family members but not others, navigating boundary violations, or dealing with relatives who pass along information or side with the person you're trying to protect yourself from. These situations can feel incredibly isolating, especially when everyone else’s families seem so much more intact or supportive.

And then there are the comments, the unsolicited advice and judgments that make things even harder:

“You only get one father.”
“You’re going to regret this one day.”
“Your mother had a hard life, give her a break.”
“They were just joking.”
“You’re too sensitive.”

These words can be deeply invalidating. They can make you question your reality, your strength, and your choices.

By the way, this doesn’t only happen in family systems. Sometimes, we reach a similar breaking point in other long-term relationships, like a close friendship, a mentor or former boss, or someone you once saw as a major part of your life. The grief, boundary struggles, and self-doubt can feel just as painful and complex.

If you're managing the guilt, grief, anger, or confusion that often comes with cutting ties, or even just trying to get through a family event or difficult interaction without spiraling, I want you to know you're not alone. Many people are quietly navigating these same painful dynamics.

I’ve supported clients through all stages of estrangement: from early contemplation to long-term no contact, and everything in between. If you're facing these decisions, trying to hold or identify your boundaries, or simply working to make peace with what is, I’d be honored to walk with you through it, with compassion, perspective, and zero judgment.