Couples Counseling

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If you’re wondering whether or not you need couples counseling, you probably already know the answer. That doesn’t have to be scary, and it certainly doesn’t have to mean the end of the relationship. In fact, seeking support is often one of the most loving and courageous things you can do for your partnership.

Many couples wait until things are at a breaking point to seek therapy. By then, hurt and resentment may have been building for years, and big decisions may feel urgent. I understand how intimidating it can be to confront relationship issues, there’s often a fear that if you need therapy, your relationship must already be failing. But that’s not how I see it. I believe the earlier couples start doing this work, even before any major issues arise, the better. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from counseling. In fact, research shows couples tend to wait too long before seeking help, sometimes until it's too late. Please don’t let that be your story.

Couples counseling can give you tools to communicate more clearly, handle conflict more constructively, and better understand each other’s needs and values. And yes, in many cases, it’s far more affordable, and less emotionally taxing, than a divorce. Even if you’re unsure where your relationship is heading, I can help you move toward greater clarity and understanding, one step at a time.

I make no guarantees about the outcome of couples counseling, but clarity is always my priority. Whether you ultimately stay together or decide to part ways, therapy can help you feel more grounded in your decisions, better equipped with tools, and aligned with your values. If you’re both committed to showing up with courage and honesty, you can learn to own your part in the dynamic and begin taking real steps toward healing, growth, and connection.

My approach is curious, reflective, and direct. I work to create a safe and supportive environment where both partners can explore vulnerable topics without judgment. It may not always be easy, this work can be intense, but it can be deeply rewarding.

Some of the most common areas we’ll explore together include:

• Communication patterns
• Conflict resolution
• Emotional and physical intimacy
• Family and childhood influences
• Finances and shared responsibilities
• Parenting and coparenting
• Religion, spirituality, and values
• In-laws and boundary setting
• Monogamy, non-monogamy, and sexual expectations
• Daily life rhythms and how free time is spent
• Gender roles
• Culture

Many of my clients have been together for years, even decades. Often, one of the biggest sources of pain is feeling like your partner still sees you as the person you were in your twenties, even though you’ve grown, evolved, and changed. When that emotional scaffolding begins to break down, intimacy suffers. And I don’t just mean sex. I mean all the layers of closeness: sharing feelings, expressing needs, talking about fears, and rebuilding the trust required to be vulnerable again.

Whether you’re facing repeated conflict, growing distance, or a rupture as large as an affair, if both of you are willing to do the work, I can help you repair, rebuild, or thoughtfully move forward. I take time to get to know each couple, your history, your stories, your pain points, and the strengths that still exist between you.

I have experience working with heterosexual couples, same-sex couples, trans couples, multicultural/bi-racial couples, and neurodiverse partnerships. Every relationship is unique, and I tailor my approach with deep respect for who you are and what you’ve been through.

If you’re ready to roll up your sleeves and do the work, I’d be honored to help.

Couples counseling can be powerful and transformative but it’s not the right fit for every relationship, and it requires a shared commitment from both people involved. If one or both partners are unwilling to take ownership for their part in the dynamic, make meaningful changes, or engage with honesty and effort, couples counseling will likely not be effective.

Couples counseling is not appropriate in the following situations:

• One or both partners are unwilling to change, take accountability, or engage in the process beyond "checking a box" for the other person
• There is ongoing physical abuse (I don't work with past physical abuse either)
• One partner is actively having an affair and is unwilling to end it or be transparent
• There is a clear power imbalance rooted in coercion, financial control, or emotional manipulation
• One or both partners are resistant to completing therapy work between sessions, consistently failing to follow through on agreed upon tasks
• One partner is exhibiting narcissistic or antagonistic traits (in these cases, I am happy to work with the non-narcissistic partner individually and may include the other as a guest if clinically appropriate)

Coercive control may look like:

• Isolating you from friends or family
• Dictating what you wear or how you present
• Controlling your access to money or resources
• Regularly criticizing or demeaning you
• Monitoring your phone, devices, or car (including the use of spyware or GPS tracking)
• Threatening harm to you, your pets, or others
• Accusing you of cheating without cause
• Controlling your food intake or sleep
• Sexual coercion or manipulation
• The presence of firearms in the home used as a form of threat or control

If you are navigating a relationship where coercive control, manipulation, or emotional abuse is present, couples counseling is not the appropriate next step, and it can actually be dangerous. In these cases, I strongly encourage you to visit my Narcissistic Abuse page to learn more about safer, more supportive options for healing and guidance.

Effective couples counseling requires a genuine investment from both people. If that’s not possible in your relationship at this time, there are still meaningful ways to support yourself, and I’d be honored to help you individually.